14 Things You Didn’t Know Women Notice on Dating Profiles
Most men give online dating a shot, especially if they want to meet a foreign girlfriend among beautiful Russian brides or Ukrainian women, but they quickly give up. It is not difficult to sign up for an app or a website, swipe right, and hit up potential dates. The hardest part is to make women reciprocate and answer your messages. An important thing to remember is that men and women behave differently and look for different things on a dating profile. The details that women notice are surprising at first, but knowing what draws them in or pushes them away will give you a huge advantage.
Profile Details That Attract Women
Having a Variety of Photos
It would be great if you could post your favorite five photos where you look your best and leave it at that. But what if your favorite photos are all selfies, all photos of you in one outfit, or all photos of you on a beach? Then you’re not doing yourself justice. Your profile photos are not only there to exhibit what you look like but to show who you are as a person. One main headshot will work in your favor, but it should be followed up by an array of pictures of what your life looks like, preferably all in different places.
After looking into online dating statistics, experts have determined some types of photos that can actually help you get more replies:
- • Men with a full-length shot get 203% more replies;
- • Men with a sports outfit (like a jersey) get 32% more message;
- • Men with an outside photo get 19% more messages;
- • Men who have a vacation/travel photo get 6% more messages.
Being Physically Affectionate
Public display of affection doesn’t always refer to a significant other; it also means hugging and sharing any other kind of platonic intimacy with male friends. Men don’t tend to be as physically close with their friends as many women do because it’s not as socially acceptable, which is a shame. But if you can overcome the initial awkwardness, it can even be used as a tool to attract women.
Do you have any photos where you and your friends have your arms around each other’s shoulders? Or where somebody playfully lifts you up? Or perhaps where you’re wrestling with a friend? Women like to see that you can express your feelings like that. If there is a photo with you and your friends, it’s better if it’s not a stiff pose where you hardly touch at all. That weird pose may tell women that you’re not comfortable with yourself.
Rules for a Perfect First Profile Photo
- • Take off sunglasses and hats;
- • Remember about the light and how it can change your appearance (go outside if you can);
- • Have a tidy background (make sure there’s no bathroom mess). A simple white or colorful wall will be great;
- • Check if your hair’s okay;
- • Dress to impress: a good collared shirt is your best option;
- • Smile and do your best to appear welcoming;
- • Experiment with posing and always have your face visible.
Adding Your Own Twist
Write something as “I love searching and supporting small cinemas that show international indie movies, and I also love taking my rescue greyhound to the park and watching him race other dogs”. You can understand why women would find it more appealing. After all, they don’t want their man to blend in with every other man they know, and you have to show that she won’t be bored out of her mind when talking to you.
Even though you are on the Internet, you should show that you can speak and spell like an adult. Avoid using slang and vulgar language; most of all, because you’re not an edgy teen anymore and you want to make an impression that won’t hurt your chances of success. Just as you would want a person in real life to take you seriously, the online space is the same, just in written form. Translate your usual style of talking into written text without “texting language” (IDK, IDC, NVM, TMI, etc.).
Lack of Emotional Baggage
Regardless of the gender, anyone would be suspicious if they saw a profile that suggested you still have any unfinished business from previous relationships. Whether it is an ex-spouse or a life-threatening accident you’ve gone through, it shouldn’t be the first thing people learn about you. These kinds of stories should be kept for later when it’s time to open up emotionally. Women can read through the lines and always sense implications that you haven’t let go of your past. If you make sure that your profile depicts someone who’s living in the present moment, ladies will sense that too.
Profile Details Women Dislike
Photos Where You Are Trying Too Hard
If your body is something you’re proud of or you generally like yourself appearance-wise, there’s no shame in that. But do you advertise these traits too much? Women don’t appreciate it when men are obsessed with their looks and try to use it as a selling point. Don’t fill your profile space with photos that are fit for a modeling agency. Especially, don’t put up photos where you look at the camera with seducing and flirty eyes.
Female Friends in Group Photos
We’ve all seen too many romantic comedies where the plot sets up best friends of the opposite sex to eventually be together even if they didn’t realize they had feelings for each other. It’s a well-known trope of not seeing the love which was right before your eyes. Whether you believe that it’s possible or not, you don’t know if the woman you like will be understanding about it. That’s why you shouldn’t post or mention your female friends, however innocent your actual relationship with them is. It’s healthy to have all kinds of friends, but there’s no reason to talk about them before the first date.
Spell check and proofread like you would with any written text. Poor grammar and spelling mean that you’re either not committed to online dating, which is why you didn’t take the proper time to compile it or that you’re uneducated; both options are bad.
It’s not quirky or original to write “I don’t know what to say here, yadda-yadda-yadda, just filling in space”. Women see statements that don’t have any actual information as a waste of their time. Not to mention, they see generic phrases so often that they simply click off as soon as they see them again.
A dating website asked its female users to answer “which clichés do you no longer want to see in a dating profile?”, and here’re the results they got:
- • 39%: I love to travel
- • 22%: I like to be active but also enjoy an evening on the couch
- • 17%: I don’t really know what to write here
- • 16%: Thank you for viewing my profile!
- • 7%: Other
Disrespectful Ways of Referring to Women
How do you refer to women? If it’s something like girls, chicks, or dolls, you might want to reconsider that. Even if you think they’re just words and harmless terms of affection, you will still sound disrespectful. Things have moved forward since the 1970s, and many of these terms now sound out of place.
Other than that, if you write that you “want to find a girl who…”, it will give women a message that you’re not looking for a long-term partner. Or that you’re immature and not ready for a serious relationship. It’s not boys and girls who share lives together, but men and women.
Asking Women to Contact You
Some men say things like “message if you like what you see”, “contact me if…”, or something similar to these lines. Firstly, there’s no reason to do that because it’s obvious she’ll hit you up if she likes you. Secondly, you come off as presumptuous.
Writing Too Much
While women like a man who is good with words, some men take it too far. If you write more than a paragraph just talking about yourself, it makes you seem vain, narcissistic, or on the other hand, too nervous.
Writing Too Little
On the other end of the spectrum, there are men who barely write anything at all. There are several scenarios of how this can go down in women’s heads. Similar to the case of poor grammar, you may look like you’re not committed to finding anyone online, so you make a half-effort. It can look like you’re not a very self-reflective person. It can even look as if you expect your photos to impress women without actually sharing your personality.
If you want more information about online dating, check out these 10 tips from psychologists on how to become better at online dating.